Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
