Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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