So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Fuck me I smell like cheese
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
