i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
