Michael Bay diarrhea
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
