Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
