OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
