Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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