If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
