I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
