love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
