Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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