i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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