her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
