i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
