last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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