make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
