ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
