and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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