Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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