we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
