TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize