She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
