don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
