It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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