Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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