I want you more than these girls want KFC
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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