I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
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i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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