the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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