addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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