dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
