I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize