problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
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Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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