Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
