I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize