12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
