My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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