don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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