your room smells of hookers.
And success
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
