Do you still have your period?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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