i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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