My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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