i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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