sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
