Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize