I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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