@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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