the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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