9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
