i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
