Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
