"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
