Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
