Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She told me I should be a condom model.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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