we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
