i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
