butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
