She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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