We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Randomize
