we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
