That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
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