The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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