i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
